Hetalia Science
by Thingshappenfora reason
Summary: When Alfred is awakened from his cozy relaxation chamber only to find it ruined, two fugitive reactor cores needing help, and a serious super-computer problem, how will he react? Like a hero, of course! Based heavily off of Portal 2. - SPOILER ALERT -
1. Prologue  The Courtesy Call

**Prologue - The Courtesy Call**

* * *

><p><em>Mmph. <em> The messy American groaned in his sleep.

_"Good morning. You have been in suspension for -FIFTY- days."_

_ 'Oh god, what is it now…' _ He rolled over on the bed and shoved his face back into a pillow, trying to ignore the voice resonating from above.

_"In compliance with state and federal regulations, all testing candidates in the Hetalia Science Extended Relaxation Chamber must be revived periodically for a mandatory physical and mental wellness exercise. Please exit the bed to begin the test."_

_ 'Seriously? But I don't wanna get out of bed yet.' _ The American, frustrated, rolled over again, slowly cocooning the sheet around him. _'Maybe if I drift off and fall asleep it will just go away…'_

_ "Please exit the bed to begin the test."_

"…"

_"Please exit the bed to begin the test."_

"…"

_"Please exit the be-"_

"ALRIGHT! I'm coming! God! Do you KNOW how annoying that is?" Alfred, for that was the man's name, chucked the sheet off himself in anger. Alfred hated mornings. He hated getting up when he wanted to snooze for another hour. He also hated when people would keep pestering him over and over to get up. A feeling told him that this day wasn't going to start out very well.

_"You will hear a buzzer, when you hear a buzzer, look up at the ceiling."_

A high pitched, ear piercing buzzer rang out. Alfred cringed, but he did what he was told.

_"Good. You will hear a buzzer, when you hear a buzzer, look down at the floor."_

Another ear splitting buzzer went off. This was getting annoying fast…

_"Good. This completes the gymnastics portion of your mandatory physical and mental wellness exercise."_

_ 'Wait, what. That was it? I got out of my comfy, cozy bed for THAT?'_ Alfred felt his fury boiling.

_"There is a framed painting on the wall. Please go stand in front of it."_

Stomping loudly in frustration, he marched over to the painting and stopped in front of it.

_"This is art."_

"LIKE I DIDN'T KNOW THAT!"

_"You will hear a buzzer. When you hear a buzzer, stare at the art."_

"No!" Alfred spun on his heel, looked in the opposite direction of the painting, and stuck his chin in the air. He closed his eyes and waited. "I'm not going to look at some stupid art unless I want to." He continued pouting.

The buzzer rang. After a few seconds the voice called down again, _"When you hear a buzzer stare at the art."_

Buzzer. _"When you hear a buzzer, stare at the art."_

Buzzer. _"When you hear a b-"_

"Okay, Okay!" Alfred stuck his face so close to the painting that his nose was touching and his vision was blurry.

_"You should now feel mentally reinvigorated. If you suspect staring at art has not provided the required intellectual sustenance, reflect briefly on this classical music."_

Savory, long notes swam through Alfred's mind. _'Hm...'_ He smiled. The music reminded him of someone, but he just couldn't put his finger on whom. Actually, he couldn't remember anything about his life. All he knew was his name, Alfred Jones, his parents were dead, he was the supposed pride and joy of them, and that he woke up here. He actually didn't know why he was here except that it had something to do with being paid for being tested on. He hadn't realized that the testing was just sleeping for a long time. He smiled wider at the thought of that.

Another buzzer pulled him sharply to reality, also inducing him to let out a very girlish yelp. Alfred scowled.

_"Good. Now please return to your bed."_

Alfred kicked the bed with his bare foot but immediately regretted it. He hopped around for a bit, muttering words of annoyance before plopping his body back on the cushy surface. His orange jumpsuit itched just a little as he gathered his sheets and tossed them over himself. He picked up a pillow and slammed it over his head. He hadn't realized how his thoughts about family and home had affected him. He decided he wouldn't let himself believe that and instead blamed his anger on the annoying voice that was so ominous and repetitive.

Alfred felt his muscles relax as he drifted off, back to the place of dreams.

* * *

><p>"<em>Good morning. You have been in suspension for nine, nine, ninenineninen- This courtesy call is to inform you that all test subjects should immediately vacate the blah blahblah blah"<em>

Alfred shot up into sitting position. He was sweating and his room was dark. The courtesy call droned on, but his mind just replaced the words with variations of blah. He swung his legs over the bed, and stood. The room was dim, but still lit enough for him to see. Filthy and over grown with plants, his once comfortable room looked like its own apocalypse had come. The TV was on in the corner, its screen only displaying one thing, _we are experiencing technical difficulties. _He switched his gaze to the bed, which had a large human shaped dent in it. It didn't give him the best nauseous feelings. Alfred felt his breathing becoming a bit heavier, his heart pounding like a drum. He jumped visually at the sound of a nearby voice.

"Ve, is anyone home?...I don't think anybody's here Ludi."

"Let us try knocking, Feliciano."

A quick and abrupt knock was heard on the other side of the door. This was repeated soon after.

"Hm." The voice that seemed to have a distinct German accent thought about their predicament.

"Ve, ve, Ludi! What if they're dead! Or worse, a vegetable like the others!"

"Well, we can only hope. By the way, everyone so far has been dead, that's why they weren't responding."

"Oh… But what about management?"

Meanwhile, Alfred had crept over to the door and was eavesdropping. Suddenly, unable to take it any longer, he flung open the door.

"AHHHHHHHH! VEEEEEE!"

The easily scared Italian reactor core shut his eye and screamed. The German just sat there and rolled his eye.

"Feli, quiet." The Italian programmed core shut up.

The blue eyed core sighed and looked back at the test subject. Alfred looked towards them, his mouth agape. The German core with the blue eye had yellow stripes, while the Italian core with the amber eye had brown stripes. Alfred had always read about robots, but had never seen one before.

_"Please prepare for emergency evacuation."_

"Ve, stay calm. Stay calm. Just prepare. Prepare…ve…" The Italian core was shaking.

His partner was cruising along his rail, heading for a metal trapdoor in the ceiling. "Don't worry, I'm going to get us out of here."

"Ve, you might want to hang onto something, mister. Just saying." And with that, the Italian core left along with the other.

Alfred was too shocked by everything to say anything. He did move and brace himself inside the closet, though. Just as he did, the entire room began to sway and crash into things. The color drained from his face.

"Are you okay?" A German accent asked.

"Ve, Hellooooo?"

The German descended from the ceiling. "Most test subjects do experience cognitive deterioration after a few months in suspension. Now you've been under for..erm..quite a bit longer and it is possible that you have serious brain damage. Try not to be alarmed."

Alfred got hit with another shock. Serious brain damage? No, no way….

"Do you understand me? Does anything I'm saying make any sense? Just say "yes"."

Alfred's mind still tried to wrap its hand around what was happening.

"Actually, what you are doing is gaping. You just gaped at me. Well, nevermind. Try saying Wurst. Wuuurst."

"Huh, what?" Alfred shook his head abruptly, regaining his senses.

"Ve, he actually can talk!" The Italian had just retreated from the ceiling as well.

"Let's not get too excited."

"Hey, don't talk about the hero like that! The hero always wins, and is never talked about like a science project!" Alfred made a winning hero pose, just before being knocked down onto the floor.

"Ve, I should have told you, we started moving again!" The happy core burst with energy. Alfred moved his head a bit off the ground before dropping it and groaning.

An alarm started to blare in the background and the Italian core went back through the ceiling where the German had left to a minute before.

"Hey, wait! What are your names?" Alfred heard himself shouting.

"Ludwig."

"Feliciano, ve!"

"And how long have I been in suspension?"

"Er… twenty to thirty years. We don't know for sure since Feli lost your records."

Muffled crying was heard, followed by soft counseling.

"_All reactor core safe guards are now non-functional. Please prepare for reactor core meltdown."_

The room was starting to sway dangerously now.

"Okay, we weren't going to tell you this, but we're in pretty hot water right now." Ludwig's voice dimly called.

"Are you alright? You still holding on, ve?"

By this point Alfred had resigned to the closet. He had maintained the fetal position with his hands over his head, guarding his neck from the debris that was now flying around the room.

"I think I can get through here. I just need to concentrate. Feli, that means you need to stop hyperventilating for a minute."

The room plunged into a corridor of darkness, smashing into cross beams and other chambers. The walls had fallen off the room and everything was strewn around, the room swinging wildly back and forth.

"AIEE! You hit that one, you hit that one! Ve!"

"I know, Feli." Ludwig took a deep breath and swung the room around another bend. " Also, if anyone asks, but no one's going to ask, just please tell them that everyone looked pretty much alive, okay? Not dead. Thank you."

"Ve, we're almost there! An old testing track is behind that wall. You need to get a tool from there to get us out of here! … Wait, I think that's a docking station! Get ready, ve!"

"Hey, wait, Feli!" Ludwig shouted, just a bit too late since Feli already had the controls.

The entire room vibrated as it slammed into the wall. Luckily, it had partially crumbled under the impact.

"Ve, good news! That is NOT a docking station! Mystery solved! I have to make a manual override on this wall. Hold on!"

The room slammed into the wall once again.

"Feli has almost got it. Remember, look for a gun that makes holes. Not bullet holes, but- Er, you'll know it when you see it."

"WE'RE GOING THROUGH!"

The room barreled into the wall for the third time, creating a solid hole and sending Alfred head over heels into the testing track below.

"Hm. I'm sorry for the rough landing. This is the track you need to run to find the gun. Just try your best, Feli and I will meet you up ahead."

"Oh, one more thing before we leave, ve. What's your name, mister?"

Alfred stood and brushed off his orange jumpsuit. The dirt tainted the bright orange color, and he didn't like it dirty for some reason. "My name is Alfred. Alfred Jones."

"Well, Alfred, Alfred Jones, nice to meet you! We'll see ya later Al!" Feli giggled as he and Ludwig turned around and left.

This was the first time in a while that Alfred had actually been alone. It felt odd, the stillness, yet he had treasured it earlier in his comfy room that was now completely ruined.

He shook off the feeling and turned around himself. He stepped forward and plummeted down as the glass roof to a small room collapsed beneath his weight. Miraculously, his bare feet were unscarred and he hadn't noticed the fall very much at all, except for the shock. Looking down, he remembered why. He had on his Advanced Knee Replacements, so falls wouldn't harm him. _'Well, that helps.'_

The overgrown glass room was suddenly filled with a resonating voice, "Hello, and again, welcome to the Hetalia Science Enrichment Center."

"Oh, god. Not you again…"

* * *

><p><strong>Hetalia Cast as Portal Cast: <strong>

_Alfred (America) - Chell (Chell's part at least)_

_Ludwig (Germany) and Feliciano (Italy) - Wheatley (Wheatley's part at least)_

**A/N 1:**

_These guys aren't nations in this fic. _

_Just in case my writing was so bad that you couldn't even tell that._

_They also don't know each other._

_The characters may seem a bit OOC at times, but it may just be for effect or that I'm trying to fit in lines from the original characters and their personalities don't quite add up. _

_I'm sorry for any inconvenience._

**A/N 2:**

_Hi! Thank you SO much for clicking on and (hopefully) reading this story._

_This is **my first fan-fiction**, so, yeah, I probably suck something terrible, but, oh well!_

_Also, I have been known to over use commas, so I apologize in advance._

_Also, if you liked it *cough*no one*cough* then please reply. :D_

_I have trouble with actually giving myself any credit, so a simple "hello" would literally make me die of joy._

_Also, before I go, I would also really really like some constructive criticism, too, because I'm new and I NEED help with my writing. So, I you have any helpful tips, let me know!_

_~Thingshappenfora reason_

_P.S. Have a cookie reader. You have had a long journey, trying to understand my words and phrases. *hands reader virtual cookie*_

* * *

><p><strong><em>*Disclaimer* <em>**_I do not own either Portal or Hetalia. I own nothing. _


	2. Chamber 00

**A/N:**

_OMG. Thank you so much!_

_Thank you to Meme12345bunny for reviewing!_

_Thank you to Owlflight12 for favoriteing!_

_I hope you enjoy the next chappie!_

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter I - Chamber 00<strong>

* * *

><p><em>"We are currently experiencing technical difficulties due to the circumstances of potentially apocalyptic significance beyond our control. However, thanks to Emergency Testing Protocols, testing can continue. These pre-recorded messages will provide instructional and motivational support, so that science can still be done, even in the event of environmental, social, economic, or structural collapse." <em>

Alfred was sitting on the broken toilet listening to the message. He had his feet up on a small table and was flipping through the papers on a clipboard. He looked thoroughly bored.

He had already summed up the area, hoping to find a way out. The walls were made out of cracked glass, yet still unbreakable. Only half a wall wasn't glass, and it had orange pulses of light around the edges, so he had decided to not touch it. After trying to break the glass with a broken radio, and failing miserably, he had decided to just wait it out.

_"The portal will open and emergency testing will begin in three."_

Alfred hopped up, anticipating this so called "portal".

_"Two. One."_

A slight plasma sounding noise blipped into the room near the wall with orange lights. Alfred quickly switched his gaze to the newly opened portal. His jaw dropped. An orange swirly oval had opened in the wall. You could see outside the room through it. He approached it cautiously. He took his right fore-finger and traced one side of the oval. He popped his finger in his mouth.

"Hm…" He wondered why it tasted like dirt. He took the now wet finger and stuck it through the portal. He pulled it back to him. It wasn't harmed in anyway so he stuck his foot through, followed quickly by half his body. He smiled a wide grin.

"No way, this is so cool! I ca-" He was about to say something, but gasped, interrupting himself. Right in front of him was the room he was just in. And inside the room, was himself. His jaw dropped even lower. "No, no way. Oh my gosh, that's, no way…" He walked backwards, forwards, sideways, trying to get a better look at himself. All of this was quite exciting and overwhelming.

The easily bored Alfred left the second portal after a minute. He continued into the room noting how completely trashed it was. There was rubble in mounds and creeping vines along the walls. The floor was covered in moss and ferns popped up everywhere. He carefully proceeded. The tiles were torn from the floor below an open circular door. He walked through it, hopefully. He spotted a large red button on the floor.

_"Cube- and button-based testing remains an important tool for science, even in dire emergency. If cube- and button-based testing caused this emergency, don't worry. The odds of this happening twice is very slim."_

A rumbling was heard from above.

_"If an inanimate object starts to have a conversation with you, do not be alarmed. This is probably just a side-effect of radio-active material it has been exposed to, and it will not harm you in any way." _

_ Alfred was confused. 'Objects, talking? Radio-active material? What?' _

The rumbling stopped and a cube fell through a glass cylinder suspended above the ground. The cube had ridges on the edges and it had a blue circle on each of its sides. It sat there, soundless.

Alfred waited and watched for a minute. After there was no sign of any AI or sentient life form, he shrugged and walked over to the cube. He placed his hands on two sides, lifting it.

"THE AWESOME ME IS HERE!"

"GGGAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!"

Alfred dropped the cube, resulting in him falling flat on his back.

"Whoa, dude, are you okay?"

Alfred had regained his composure and was now sitting straight up. "Y-Y-You, You j-just talked!"  
>"So?"<p>

"SO? You're not SUPPOSED to talk! Your, your inanimate! Or at least supposed to be!"

"Dude, calm down. I can't even move on my own, how in heck am I going to hurt you?"

Alfred blinked, realizing that he had never considered it. "Oh… Well, I guess your right." Alfred smiled widely. "My name's Alfred." He extended a hand in greeting.

"Dude, no hands." If the cube had had eyes he would have rolled them.

"Oh, yeah. Heh, sorry." Alfred just smiled wider.

"The awesome me is Gilbert! Have you seen CC around?"

"No, I don't think so."

"Oh. Well, when you see Birdie tell him I want to meet him in the Hub, kay?"

"Erm, sure…"

"Thanks bro."

Alfred was giving the cube a look of confusion when he remembered the entire point of the test. "Oh, Gilbert, I'm picking you up and putting you on this button, okay?"

"No problem, dude. That's the entire point of the button. You put a cube on it."

Alfred picked up the cube successfully and continued to step forward. He staggered under the weight. "Gosh, you seriously are heavy, aren't you? Been stocking up on tacos?"

"No! You should see yourself; you're not the most "fit" person either."

"You're not a person."

"You know what I mean! Mein Gott, you are stubborn."

"So are you!"

"I'm too awesome to be stu- OOFF."

Alfred had made his way to the button and had dropped Gilbert on top of it. He rested while the cube yelled at him. "Hey, dude, calm down, gosh. I only dropped you."

"Do you know how degrading that is for a cube? Especially for as awesome a cube as me!"

Alfred began to ignore the POed Weighted Storage Cube. He looked to the door. It was open. He smiled and dashed to it, only to stop and turn around. Gilbert had shut up.

"Oh. I'm sorry, Gilbert. I know we just met but I need to beat this puzzle."

"No. No problem, dude. I'll see you in the next room!"

"Really?"

"Yes, really! The awesome me doesn't lie! Why would you…oh."

Alfred had already left.

.

He turned the bend, cautious but excited for what lay ahead. He smiled and walked to a door that opened in front of him. Behind it lay a shimmery blue light that seemed to like the surface of water.

"_Please note the incandescent particle field across the exit. This Hetalia Science Material Emancipation Grill will vaporize any unauthorized equipment that passes through it."_

Alfred blinked but walked through it, wondering if he was "unauthorized equipment". Apparently not, because he wasn't vaporized on contact. He exhaled in relief.

Continuing down the stairs, another glass cylinder came into his view. This time, it was much larger and had some electrical components in it. There were pink buttons and yellow panels. Also, it was on the floor. When Alfred neared it, two glass panels slid out, allowing him to enter. He did so.

As soon as he was inside the doors shut and it began to descend. Alfred had entered an elevator.

* * *

><p><strong>Hetalia Cast as Portal Cast:<strong>

_Alfred (America) - Chell (Chell's part at least)_

_Gilbert (Prussia) - Weighted Storage Cube (WSC's part at least)_

**A/N:**

_I apologize for this being short._

_I really wanted to get this out before tomorrow._

_I swear, the next one will be longer!_

_Also, if anyone can guess, I put a character hint in there! See if you can figure it out! :3_

_~Thingshappenfora reason_

_P.S. I love writing as PruCube. X3_

_P.P.S. Please comment if you liked this!_

* * *

><p><strong><em>*Disclaimer* <em>**_I do not own anything! Nope, that means Portal and Hetalia. I don't own either._


	3. Chambers 01  02

**A/N:**

_Thank you all! _

_You make me so happy when you review, favorite, and all that jazz!_

_(I will list all my thanks at the very end of the story.)_

_Sooo, yeah, lateness._

_= . =_

_No excuses, I was just procrastinating BIG time._

_So, yeah, Thanksgiving isn't Thanksgiving without a good Fic to read, right?_

Reviewer: No. Not really, Things. I think I can get by without a fanfiction to read.

_Yeah, I know, but I updated and you can read it below!_

_My pumpkin pie for you!_

_The second chapter!_

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter II - Chambers 01-02<strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Chamber 01<strong>

* * *

><p><em>"If you feel liquid running down your neck, relax, lie on your back, and apply immediate pressure to your temples. You are simply experiencing a rare reaction in which the Material Emancipation grill may have emancipated the ear tubes inside your head."<em>

"Oh, ick, really? Oh, god, that's just gross!" Alfred stuck out his tongue and wrinkled his nose in disgust. Stepping out of the elevator, he surveyed his surroundings.

Nothing large had changed with the ambiance. The things in this room matched the last chamber quite well. Covered in brownish green vegetation and large amounts of rubble, the room reeked of chemicals that had been poured onto potting soil. Alfred actually kind of liked it. '_At least it's better than being stuck in one room for so long…'_ He smirked, making his way up a short stairway.

The blue and white circular door opened. Walking through, Alfred was greeted by a screen. It flickered than showed him what chamber he was in, _Chamber 1_. He blinked and looked a bit closer. _01/19._

"Oh, seriously? I have to go through nineteen of these things? UGH." He groaned loudly, but kept walking.

He came to a ledge and quickly jumped down. Tiles littered the floor, ferns dominating the shady corners. Another standing button was near a wall of glass. Alfred skipped towards it.

"Oh, Gil! I didn't see you there!" He waved spastically at our favorite cube that was at the time behind said glass wall.

…

"Gil?"

Albert shoved his ear to the glass, trying to hear his friend. Slight, inaudible muffles were all that reached him. None the less, Al jumped up, excited to finally have a chance to be the hero. He blurted out, even though no one could hear him, "Don't worry! I'm the hero! And heroes will always save the innocents from being trapped in glass boxes!" Satisfied with his speech, Al posed in that famous hero posture.

If cubes could facepalm, Gilbert would have.

"Now, to figure this out…" Al pressed the button in front of him. He saw a blue portal open inside. Turning around to see what was behind him, Al grinned because of the rather convenient orange portal that resided on another wall.

The familiar sensation of passing through a portal tingled his bones. The ever bright smile that was practically trapped upon his face met the waiting cube. "Hiya Gil! I'm here to rescue you from your foul enclosure!" He reached down and hauled up Gilbert.

"Meh. I could have been here faster. You know, since I'm the awesomest one ever."

"Is that how you say that?"

"Who cares about grammar? I'm a flippin' cube!"

"Well, then you shouldn't feel this." Al dropped Gil.

"Ow! Mein Gott! What was that for?" Al smirked and pressed the standing button they were by.

"I needed to press this button." He grabbed Gil and jumped through the orange portal once more.

* * *

><p>"Are you going to leave me here again?" Alfred look back at the cube who sat on the red button, once again shining with orange.<p>

"I'm sorry dude, but I have to finish this test."

"No, that's fine, really. I'm cool." Yet, a twinge of gloom hid behind those words.

"I'll be back soon." Al smiled kindly before turning and hopping through the portal once more. He hummed a random tune as he skipped towards the last standing button he hadn't pressed yet. He slammed his hand down at the peak of his melody. A blue portal opened right next to the waiting door. Alfred jumped through the orange portal yet again. Striding through the open circular door, the automated voice intruded Al's thoughts.

_"Good! Because of the technical difficulties we are currently experiencing, your test environment is unsupervised. Before re-entering a relaxation vault at the conclusion of testing, please take a moment to write down the results of your test. A Hetalia Science Reintegration Associate will revive you for an interview when society has been rebuilt." _

"Yeah right! No way I'm going back in one of those cramped rooms again!" Al chuckled and popped into the elevator whose doors closed behind him.

* * *

><p><strong>Chamber 02<strong>

* * *

><p><em>"If the earth is currently governed by a manner of animal king, sentient cloud, or other governing body that either refuses to or is incapable of listening to reason….BEWooo"<em>

Al stepped out of the elevator, confused by the voice, which had strangely diminished half way through a sentence. "Meh, the earth is supposedly under an apocalyptic state, so malfunctions are probably not uncommon." He went up the next few steps and proceeded through the next corridor.

"Ve, Ve~! You made it!" A familiar chirpy tone lit up the dreary atmosphere.

"Feli! Ludwig!" Al hopped down the steps to get a better view of the two cores.

"Hello, Alfred." The punctual German greeted him. "We need to stay on task. There should be a portal device on the podium over there." Ludwig looked over in the direction the podium should be.

"I can't see it though… Maybe it fell off?" Feli tried to hide his worried tone.

"Would you go and take a look, Alfred?" Ludwig looked back at the American.

"Of course! I'll be right back." He strode forward towards a room with a pile of rubble in the center.

"It's alright. Go ahead and look around!" Feli offered.

In the center of the rubble pile stood a thin, metal podium that had sparks flying off it. Al moved towards it, but decided that he would rather not touch the podium himself.

Just as soon as he had taken two steps onto the debris, Alfred heard a metallic crumbling sound. The floor broke open below his feet and plenty of metallic bits flew around him as he screamed. He heard a faint "Whoa!" from one of the cores, he didn't know which one, he was too busy falling down a deep pit to try and contemplate.

Flailing limbs wildly, Al plunged into soggy, cool darkness. Water filled his senses, going up his nose and in his ears. His eyes closed abruptly as his face submerged, but even so he knew it was dark. His butt hit a metal something, causing a very unpleasant pain to course through his body.

"OWww..." Alfred gurgled through the murky liquid. He pushed his forearms down once, his head bursting into the earthy air. He crawled onto a concrete slab, catching his breath.

Running his hand through his drenched hair, and breathing deeply, Al turned his attention to the voices of the cores.

"Hello…? Are you dead…?" A nervous Italian programmed core called.

"Can you see the portal device?" Ludwig chimed in, keeping the American on task.

"No, not yet! But its wet and its cold and my but hurts!"

"…"

"Oh look! A black arrow! I'll follow it and see where it goes, kay?" Alfred saluted the air then walked in the direction of the scrawled arrow, through a narrow flooded corridor. "Oh yeah! I'm alive! That's important, should have stated that first…"

"Quite alright. Feli and I will meet you ahead." Ludwig raised his voice so he could be heard.

Alfred slogged through the water, pushing a vine away from his face. He passed an upright metal beam and stopped abruptly. He gawked in awe at the things that he found in that overgrown room. Many graffiti-like murals lined the walls on upturned concrete slabs.

The American paced alongside the closest mural with a slow and inquisitive stride. It showed an odd mechanical mass hanging from somewhere as seven different scientists stared up at it, all in different poses. Al reached out to touch the dusty stone. He walked forwards, his eyes inquisitive, and his fingertips brushing lightly across the mural. His hand dropped as he walked in front of the next painting. This one caused him to stop and furrow his brow.

It seemed to be the same place, with the same mesh of metal and wires hanging from its place, except, this time, the seven scientists were all kneeling or laying down, their hands clasped tightly around their necks, all gasping as if they could not get another breath of air. One scientist was close up, her limbs proportionally thin as twigs, her arms cast out as if she was trying to grasp the air, not realizing that this wasn't possible. Her eyes had no pupils, the skin on her face was pulled to her bones, and her mouth was open in an unnatural circle, a black void hidden within the ring of teeth. To the right of her was a cube, and Al smiled because it reminded him of Gilbert. He looked carefully at its markings, and he smiled a bit wider when he saw there were hearts where Gil's blue circles had been. Alfred beamed at the cube, but his smile was lost when he saw the small figure at the bottom left of the cube. A little sketched black stick figure with an orange malformed face kneeled, his hands above his head like he was being robbed. Alfred had no idea why, but that little figure disturbed him more than anything in that mural. He pulled his gaze away.

Alfred stumbled over to the third mural, and as he looked closer, he gasped. Al fell backwards, catching himself on his hands. There, on the third painting, stood himself. His little figure looked up at the mass of wires and metal who, with one of its wires, offered him a delicious piece of cake. Next to them stood the little orange faced man, much happier, holding the heart cube in his arms. Alfred was greatly disturbed by this, but he shook it off, as well as the water, and stood up. He shuffled away, before casting a quick glance back. Al snapped his gaze back, jogged forwards, before seeing two more murals. He was nervous, but he scanned them anyways.

The fourth was once again the large metal mass, but now the little figure of Alfred was on top of the mass, holding a strange looking white metal ball. He was looking up into nowhere. Again at the bottom right corner was the little orange faced man, this time holding a weird looking gun type thing up on his skinny little arms. Alfred wondered who could have made such paintings, he had known no one, ever. He was alone until he came here… Perhaps that's why the fifth painting caused him to feel so nauseous. In splendid artistic glory, on the fifth concrete slab, was Alfred, in a very heroic pose. He looked straight ahead, his gaze hardened by something… It wasn't guilt, nor was it pride… It was just simple knowledge. Alfred seemed to know something in that painting, which the real Al did not know. It was disturbing.

The American tried to calm his breathing, trying to still the hyperventilation he was experiencing. He ran around the many metal pipes that held up a slightly moldy staircase. Alfred didn't hesitate, he leaped onto it, running faster up the short and spiraling ramp. Al stopped once he neared the top. A shiny glitter caught his eye. At the last panel of the ramp was the device.

'_Can you see the portal device?' _The words rang inside his head, the German accent keeping him on track.

"Oh yeah, Ludwig, I can _definitely_ see it." Al rushed forwards and slipped his hands onto the cool metal.

"This is so COOL!" The blond placed the gun into the correct position on his arms. He laughed and pulled it up like he was trying to snipe with it. He jerked the gun in rapid movements, shouting pew, pew, pew. Al laughed again, he was having so much fun.

"Wow, this is great. But how do I actually work this thing?" Alfred looked down at the inner workings, his fingers fiddling with the few controls they had access to. His fingers tugged on something that looked to be a trigger. A bright blue beam shot out of the gun in the blink of an eye. A blue rimmed, oval hole opened on one of the murals he had accidentally been aiming at. The American blanched.

"Oh crap, oh gosh, this is bad, very bad. What if the artist finds out? I'm screwed! I just destroyed priceless artwork!" Alfred was now pacing on the last panel of the ramp, swinging his arms around in a wild frenzy. He accidentally pressed the trigger again, desecrating another mural with the blue portal.

"ARGH! I did it again!" He whisked his gaze to the first mural he had "destroyed". It was full and complete again.

"Oh." The American blushed at the embarrassment, even though no one was around to see.

"May as well continue." Alfred jumped down from his platform, and then walked into the portal. He came out onto a ledge overlooking the place he had just been. He turned to his right to see a very convenient ramp leading up and out. He shrugged and trudged up the metal surface…

To Be Continued...

* * *

><p><strong>Hetalia Cast as Portal Cast:<strong>

_Alfred (America) - Chell (Chell's part at least)_

_Gilbert (Prussia) - Weighted Storage Cube (WSC's part at least)_

_Ludwig (Germany) and Feliciano (Italy) - Wheatley (Wheatley's part at least)_

**A/N: **

_What's next for our hero?_

_You'll have to wait and see~! ;D_

_Also, I know FIVE of you who have correct assumptions!_

_Keep being AWESOME my viewers!_

_XD_

_~Thingshappenforareason_

_P.S. Asking for reviews is a bit lame... Yet I do it anyway. = . = Review, please?_

_P.P.S. Thank you, again, to each and everyone of my readers, reviewers, favorites, and all of you fanfiction-ers! You're the best! *thumbs up*_

**_*Disclaimer* _**_I do not own anything! Nope, that means Portal and Hetalia. I don't own either._


	4. Chambers 02 03

**A/N: **

_One year? _

_Just. Just... no excuse. _

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter III - Chambers 02-03<strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Chamber 02 - Continued<strong>

* * *

><p>Alfred ran his hand along the cold railing. Tingling sensations ran up his fingers and into his bones. The cold made him retract his hand. He kept walking.<p>

His boots tapped softly on the stairs as he made his way up and into a small corridor. The hallway was filled with plants (much like everything else in that god-forsaken place), the lights were broken and the doorway seemed to be missing its door. Yet, the thing that caught the Americans eye was the floor.

He stopped and looked down. The broken yellow-gray tiling fuzzed his vision. Alfred took a breath.

_Tears ran down his face. He looked at his hands. Chubby little things stained by his tears. He whimpered as he took in the soft air that brushed across his face and through his hair. The smell was clean, with a mix of citrus cleaner, spring air, and cookies. The yellow-gray tiles shined, yellow liquid spilled all over. Shards of glass and a few mixed in lemon slices brought tears to Alfred's eyes. He sobbed and let his sneakered feet hang over the wooden stool. A soft weight landed on his shoulder. He took a breath, turning his head. Just as he glimpsed who had put his hand on his shoulder, his vision blurred once more. All he caught were two gleaming emerald eyes and a shy smile saying, "I don't blame you..."_

Alfred coughed and rested his hands on his knees. Sweat rolled down his neck and dots swam in his eyes. Shaking knees touched the ground that had caused the poor test subject to regain some memory. Alfred kneeled on the ground, breathing shallowly, eyes wrenched closed.

Time passes differently in this place. The test chambers have natural looking light pouring in through cracks, but it never changes. There is no night. There is no day. So I cannot say how long our poor Al sat there kneeling on the ground overcome with the realization of a memory.

Brain trauma seriously messes people up, gosh.

Soon enough, Alfred stood up, brushed himself off, and took another breath. The soft tapping of footsteps on tile started again as the hero walked forward, a stony expression plastered on his face.

He wouldn't let stupid brain trauma stop him!

Peering around a shattered window, Alfred's blue eyes surveyed the area and drop below. Another, larger corridor awaited him with busted panels and overgrown ceilings. He decided to not keep it waiting.

Glass crackled under his feet as the American made impact.

"_Some emergency testing may require prolonged interaction with lethal military androids. Rest assured that all lethal military androids have been taught to read and provided with one copy of the Laws of Robotics. To share."_

"Oh man. Lethal? Military? Androids? Sounds dangerous." Al shuffled ahead, keeping an eye out for giant robots, sliding doors, and huge guns that could take him down.

He popped a portal on a wall and jumped through with appropriate "WHEWW!" sound effects. He surveyed the next part of the test. The door out was located on a high plateau that couldn't be reached. (And the stairs that go down don't help either. If only they went up..) He turned around, an audible question mark above his head. He spotted the orange portal. An idea lit up that question mark so fast it turned into an exclamation point. Spinning, Alfred trust the portal gun up and shot the wall next to the door. Then strutting over to the orange portal, Al picked up the gun and blew the imaginary smoke off the top of the barrel. He hopped through and strode over towards the door.

"_Good. If you feel that a lethal military android has not respected your rights as detailed in the Laws of Robotics, please note it on your self-reporting form. A future Hetalia Science Entitlement Associate will initiate the appropriate grievance-filing." _

"Alright," furrowed browed Alfred poked the tube for the elevator, "I know I'm not the smartest knife in the crayon-box, but I think that's unfair!" Trash and cubes flew up the elevator chute as the elevator approached. The doors opened and the test subject stepped in.

Sadly, the American didn't recognize the blue lined cube that was trying to wave to him. Sadly, Gil-the-cube couldn't wave. Cubes don't have hands. Sorry Gil.

* * *

><p><strong>Chamber 03 <strong>

* * *

><p>The elevator went down and down. It let out in front of a set of stairs and door. Al stepped out onto the metal floor.<p>

"_This next test is very dangerous. To help you remain tranquil in the face of almost certain death, smooth jazz will be deployed in three. Two. One."_

Jazzy music swept through the dusty room as Alfred hopped the stairs and went through the door. Bright orange, yellow, and blue lights burst on, the music swelling the atmosphere.

"Yeah! This is my **jam**! It's like a rave in haaaaa'!" Al laughed and started to gesture like he was playing an air-sax. Just as soon as he approached the orange portal, the music crackled and fizzled out in a painful decrescendo. It received a cringe from the American.

"Aww, and just when I thought Mr. Voice had an actual chance at being cool…" He stuck out his bottom lip and slumped his shoulders forwards in a sad pout. He plodded his way onto the button and look up just in time to see a cube fall into a square opening on the floor.

"Bro…?" Alfred strode over to the cubical shaped pit before peering over the side.

"Uuuuggghhh. Duuuddddeee, try to _catch _me next time, 'kay, dufus?" There was pain revelant in Gilberts voice, but it makes sense, anyone would if they had just fallen from fifteen feet with no way to stop yourself.

The American smiled sheepishly, tugging on his hair, "aw, bro, I'm sorry. I'll be more careful next time." He stuck out a thumbs up in reassurance.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. Can you get me out of this pit? It's cramping my style." Alfred shot a blue portal under his 'bro cube' in response. The squeaky scream the inanimate cube let out caused the blond to burst out laughing.

He grabbed the cube as he tumbled out of the orange field and placed him on the nearby button. He waved to the cube who yelled after him, "H-Hey, wait! Why do you always have to rush off? Can't we.. I don't know.. hang out once in a while?" The test subject turned, a bit of confusion evident on his face.

"Wha-? Oh! Yeah, of course, dude! Err, but I do have to get back to Ludwig and Feliciano. I don't wanna keep them waiting…" He placed a fist under his chin, leaning one arm on the other.

"Hey, wait! You've met Ludwig?" There was surprise in the Germans voice.

"Oh, yeah! He's real cool but kinda' stiff. You know him?"

"Yeah, I know him! He's my adopted baby bruder!" The cube beamed, although that could have just been because there was a ring of orange light shining on every side of him.

"No way, dude! I didn't know cubes and cores even talked with each other!"

"We so do! Hey, if you gotta' leave, say 'Hi' to them for me, alright?"

"Alright, I will." The American flashed a smile before turning on his heel and dashing to the door.

* * *

><p><strong>Hetalia Cast as Portal Cast:<strong>

_Alfred (America) - Chell (Chell's part at least)_

_Gilbert (Prussia) - Weighted Storage Cube (WSC's part at least)_

**A/N:**_  
><em>

_I know, I know. _**  
><strong>

_Yes, I still plan on updating this fic after a year-long hiatus. *sigh* _

_Anyways, thank you to all the wonderful people who alerted and reviewed while I was 'away'. _

_Plus, new character hint! Bit more cryptic, but I'm sure you can figure it out. _

_~Thingshappenforareason_

_P.S. I know this chapter was butt-short. I wanted to add chamber four into it, but.. ah, well. Next time?_

_**_*Disclaimer* _**_I do not own anything! Nope, that means Portal and Hetalia. I don't own either.__


End file.
